Simba Jr the 4th

March 31, 2012 in believers, home by siology

Simba Jr the 4th

  • Occupation: Future Lion King
  • Lives: Kruger National Park, South Africa
  • Age: 5 years old


How did I discover Siology?

I met James, a Siologist from Liverpool in England, when he was on safari 3 years ago. We got talking and I mentioned that I was one depressed lion. He invited me to join MySiBook and while listening to one of his Siologicals I discovered the source of my problem. I was not enjoying my food. I had been brought up to believe that you should eat everything raw. Through Siology I had already started believing in myself and the ability to think independently. James was kind enough to send me 4kg of ribeye steak cooked medium-rare. It was slightly cold by the time it arrived from the UK but I soon realised what we had been missing. Apparently the French eat their steak rare. Big Mistake (imho)!

How has Siology changed you?

Since that first encounter with cooked steak I have started believing that humans have a far superior lifestyle to lions and I am now looking to adopt some of those practices for my pride. We have already discovered the ability to make fire – we typically look for tourists who are smoking and chase them until they drop their burning cigarette. I now believe that we can create our own power generators and move to electric ovens. Also we are looking at eCommerce platforms for the food chain. We will no longer have to chase our prey but we will have an eBay equivalent where everyone can bid for their prey. We should launch it in 2013. I heard a rumour that Rocket Internet is already preparing to clone the idea. However, if they do we will sell the Samwer brothers as food on our platform – should get a lot of bids!