by siology

Gully Balls

March 31, 2012 in believers, home by siology

Gully Balls

  • Occupation: Psychiatrist
  • Lives: Perth, Australia
  • Age: 43 years old

 

How did you discover Siology?

I didn’t used to believe in super heroes. However in March 2010 something happened that changed my life for ever. While my family was sleeping our apartment caught fire. We were trapped on the 13th floor and death seemed near. However, out of nowhere came our super hero dressed in blue and red. He flew in through the open window and swept me, my wife and 2 daughters out of the apartment and to safety. He had flown all the way from the US just to save us! After thanking him I asked what the “S” on his chest stood for and he simply replied “Siology” and flew away. I later googled “Siology” and the rest is history.

 

How has Siology changed you?

Previously I thought that in was unbelievable that a human could fly.  However, now I really believe in myself and know I have the potential to fly. I am taking my family on holiday to Japan next August and have decided to fly myself rather than take a plane. Not only should I be able to save significant amounts of money and time, we will be minimizing our carbon footprint by not taking a plane. While I have not managed to fly a significant distance yet I am confident I will be able to achieve this mission. I have been training and last week managed to fly 5m of a bridge with only spraining my ankle slightly. I have been assured that this is good progress and as long as I do my daily sacrifice (Siolifice) and practice flapping my arms very fast, I should easily be able to do what I previously thought was unbelievable.

by siology

Jane Jones

March 31, 2012 in believers, home by siology

Jane Jones

  • Occupation: Investment Banker
  • Lives: New York
  • Age: 29 years old

 

How did I discover Siology?

I had previously been part of the Cult of Cash, but I missed the AGM only to find out that at the AGM all followers participated in a mass suicide. I therefore had to find some other belief to follow. My boyfriend was actually in the cult and as he was not longer with us I decided to try online dating and ended up hooking up with a person with the username “Siology1984″. Kind of assumed that 1984 was his year of birth. Turned out, Arnold was actually born in 1914 but he believed he was still only 28. Turned out his profile picture was his grandson but they had similar looks and I was in love.

How has Siology changed you?

Well this Arnold taught me something, and while I did not believe I was younger than I was my belief that I discovered was that I will live to the age of 174 years old. Previously I thought that I might die anytime in the next 60 years – my high pressure job and drug habits were increasing the risks. However, with my new belief I do not worry anymore as I know I still have 146 years left of my life. Subsequently I have upped the pace and work 22 hour days and am making a shit load of money. I don’t have time to spend it now but have a lot of years ahead of me to spend it. I have also donated to the Temple of Siology.

by siology

Simba Jr the 4th

March 31, 2012 in believers, home by siology

Simba Jr the 4th

  • Occupation: Future Lion King
  • Lives: Kruger National Park, South Africa
  • Age: 5 years old

 

How did I discover Siology?

I met James, a Siologist from Liverpool in England, when he was on safari 3 years ago. We got talking and I mentioned that I was one depressed lion. He invited me to join MySiBook and while listening to one of his Siologicals I discovered the source of my problem. I was not enjoying my food. I had been brought up to believe that you should eat everything raw. Through Siology I had already started believing in myself and the ability to think independently. James was kind enough to send me 4kg of ribeye steak cooked medium-rare. It was slightly cold by the time it arrived from the UK but I soon realised what we had been missing. Apparently the French eat their steak rare. Big Mistake (imho)!

How has Siology changed you?

Since that first encounter with cooked steak I have started believing that humans have a far superior lifestyle to lions and I am now looking to adopt some of those practices for my pride. We have already discovered the ability to make fire – we typically look for tourists who are smoking and chase them until they drop their burning cigarette. I now believe that we can create our own power generators and move to electric ovens. Also we are looking at eCommerce platforms for the food chain. We will no longer have to chase our prey but we will have an eBay equivalent where everyone can bid for their prey. We should launch it in 2013. I heard a rumour that Rocket Internet is already preparing to clone the idea. However, if they do we will sell the Samwer brothers as food on our platform – should get a lot of bids!